Sweet Dreams are Made of These
by Hullabaloo Torkalloo
Summary: The dream had an odd familiar feeling about it; it was unpleasant. If James were to tell people of it, which he vowed never to do, people would laugh at it as a joke. However, to him it was mortally disturbing. Happy Super Duper Late Valentine's Day! I was gonna publish it, but school was getting in the way. Rated PG. One-shot Valentine story! Reviews and criticism are appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

The air inside the apartment was hot and musky. The normally cool summer night radiated with intense heat, leaving the occupants warm and sweaty in their beds. One in particular was even hotter, resulting from nothing more than a dream.

The dream had an odd familiar feeling about it; an unpleasant feeling. If he were to tell people of it, which he had vowed never to do, they'd laugh it off as if it was some kind of a joke. However, to him it was mortally disturbing.

This night was no different. He had expected it to come, but had an exhausting day as it was, so he had slept anyway. Waking up was always the same. No matter how much he did expect it, waking up was always the same.

He awoke, jumped as he came out of the dream. Closing his eyes gently, he sighed while inwardly instructing himself to breathe. He frowned, bringing a hand to his forehead to wipe away the sweat. Even though he was burning hot, his blanket had somehow managed to find its way on top of him. He recalled throwing it off the bed before going to sleep.

"Carlos," he muttered. Carlos was sleeping soundly in the bed next to him, not stirring the least bit when his name was mentioned with vigor. Carlos understood how hot it was, and he hadn't even unmade his own bed; he just lied on top of the covers. Being protective as he was over his friends, Carlos had covered James with the blanket he came in to sleep, noticing that it had been discarded.

James pushed the blanket off himself again, and pulled at the bottom of the mattress to help him get up. He let his feet hang over the side of the bed for a moment, running a clammy hand over his aching head. Taking a deep breath, he arose and extended his arms in front of him to navigate to the door in the dark. Feeling the knob, he pulled it open.

There was a lamp turned on, but otherwise it was still very dark. At the kitchen table, a lone person sat, holding out a glass of cold water.

"I've been waiting for you, James. Here's your water," he said. James recognized his voice. It was Logan.

James glared out of fatigue and grasped the cup, nodding gratefully. He gulped it, the cold liquid wetting his dry throat. He took a seat and yawned before speaking.

"Were you really waiting for me? You're going to lose just as much sleep as I do, Logan. Go to bed," James advised.

"Since I always wake up when you come out and end up getting you water, I thought I'd have it ready for you this time. I couldn't sleep, knowing you'd wake me up eventually."

"I guess I better stop coming out her when I have bad dreams then, huh?" James paused. "How'd you know?"

"I noticed a pattern. You're not very good at hiding this, you know." Logan replied.

"Kendall and Carlos still don't know. I'm just unlucky that you're a light sleeper," James joked. He put his glass on the table and swallowed thickly. Logan frowned and regarded him sadly.

"Maybe you should see someone about this."

"What? Like a psychiatrist? You're kidding." James joked. He hushed himself when he remembered how late it was and that people were still sleeping.

"I wish I was," Logan whispered, taking the hint. "This isn't normal."

"Everyone has bad dreams once in a while," James protested.

"But the same dream? I mean, yeah it happens. When it does, people talk to someone about it. That's the difference. If not a psychiatrist, then at least a friend. I know you've been having bad dream, and I have known it for a long time. Can't you tell me what it's about?"

"I'm not telling you." James said.

"That's the point. You're not telling me. You should." Logan poured the rest of his water into James's almost empty glass and got up from the table.

"I'm going back to bed, and I suggest you do the same. Dream or not; you need your rest."

"I'll go to bed soon."

"Ah, but you will sleep once you got there?" Logan said, laughing softly. James smiled.

"You've called me on way too many technicalities, Diamond. G'night."

"Night."

Logan swung around on the handrail and trotted up the steps of the spiral staircase. The door shut quietly, leaving James alone with his thoughts. Having this dream had put a terrible stress on him, but he refused to tell anyone what it was about. There was a nagging feeling that told him it would eventually go away, but it had been nearly a month of sleepless nights, and the nightmare continued to disrupt his dreams.

* * *

The next morning proved to be very hard on James. It was Valentine's Day, and he was not in a mood for it. It seemed as though Logan had taken the night before as a signal that if James wouldn't do something about it, then he would. James was the last to awaken, coming out of his bedroom still dressed in his boxers, his hair was disheveled, pointing in all directions.

"Morning, James. Sleep well?" Logan asked. he said this in a way that revealed it wasn't meant to be casual. At least, it appeared that way to James. Kendall and Carlos didn't seem to notice. James ignored Logan's question and went to the cupboard to make himself a bowl of cereal.

Logan's voice caused Kendall and Carlos to look up from their place on the living room. They both smiled; Carlos greeting him verbally.

"Hey, it's about time you woke up. Usually Logan's the one to sleep in past breakfast," Carlos said.

James furrowed his eyebrows. "What time is it?" he asked. He hadn't thought he'd slept that late.

Kendall glanced at his phone and replied, "Quarter to twelve."

"I can't imagine why I didn't wake up earlier," James said, taking a seat at the kitchen table, yawning as he did so. He poured the cereal into his bowl and reached for the milk that was sitting on the table.

Logan leaned over one of the chairs and whispered, "_Liar, liar, pants on fire~_"

James glared in return and waved at him forcefully to stop being so obvious and suspicious. It shouldn't have bothered James, since it was barely nothing. However, if Logan kept it up, Carlos and Kendall were sure to notice, which left James to be backed up into a corner. Or at least that's what James had reasoned.

To his dismay, he tipped the carton of milk over his empty bowl and nothing came out of the container. He proceeded to turn it all the way upside down and dropped it into his bowl. He heard someone laughing behind him, and turned to see Kendall approaching the sink with an empty glass.

"Sorry buddy," Kendall apologized, washing the remnants of the milk at the bottom of his glass. After turning the faucet off, he picked up the empty milk carton from James's bowl and threw it in the trash. "You want to clean up a bit and come to Roque Records with me? Camille called suggesting if we would want to perform at a Valentine's party which she would be hosting. She needed our help since she can't find a place for us to perform. It's kinda like we're job hunting for a gig for us to sing for her party."

"Why? Because no one else will go with you?" James asked. In all seriousness, he had meant it, but Kendall assumed he was being sarcastic and dismissed it.

"If we don't get some cash, Bitter's gonna blow his top! We haven't paid last month's rent, we're two days late with this month and we also have to pay the stuff that we broke from the lobby from all the troubles that cost us tons of money. I'd figured we'd hit another side of town where we don't normally go. We might be able to pick up a long term deal, what do you think?"

"I think we should reconsider the career us Rushers as an out of work band. Maybe then I could have some decent breakfast," James paused. "I'll go. Just let me get a shower before we leave."

He dropped his unused spoon on the counter and headed back towards the bedroom to get a change of his clothes before going into the bathroom. He undressed slowly, paying a little attention to what he was doing, and climbed into the shower, thinking nothing of it.

James didn't look forward to going 'job hunting' with Kendall, and he had wished Carlos or Logan would have gone so he wouldn't feel so obligated. It wasn't that he didn't like spending a day with Kendall, or that he hated looking for new interesting places to play, or any place that would hire them for that matter. It was just that the day after the dream was tough. He rarely felt like doing anything or saying anything, and would occasionally sleep in later than usual. He hated seeing anyone outside the pad; especially girls, and was almost always forced to. If not by Kendall, or Carlos, or by Logan.

In the past couple of weeks, Logan had been quite a bother to James. At first, he had been supportive of James and only offered comfort and, if James wanted, and ear to listen. Lately, he had grown worried and weary of James and wanted more than anything to tell Kendall or Carlos what had been going on. Logan had trouble dragging it out of James, but Kendall can do it no problem, and Carlos could possibly help him figure out what was causing the dream. Logan couldn't do etiher one. He could just pester him until he told and persist even harder to convince James to tell the others. It didn't make much difference. Logan couldn't tell because James trusted him.

Within ten minutes, James showered and dried off. He got dressed just as slowly as he had undressed, if not slower. He sighed, turning towards the mirror and reached for his 'lucky' comb as he had put it. He patted down the wet portion of his hair, running the comb through each side smoothly. As he finished, he tossed the comb back down by the sink and glanced back at the mirror to look at himself.

There was no hiding that he hadn't gotten much sleep. His eyes were heavy, weighed down with dark bags underneath them. His eyelids covered more than half of his beautiful brown irises. He smiled in an attempt to look more awake, but it was a very weak and hesitant smile; extremely unconvincing. He shrugged, realizing that there wasn't more he could do and reached for the door knob to exit the bathroom.

Logan and Carlos had gone, where James couldn't guess. Kendall had taken a seat at the kitchen table, reading a paper in indifferent interest. The sound of the door brought Kendall's head up and he folded the paper preparing to put it down on the table.

"Ready?" he asked. James nodded. Kendall finished discarding the paper and stood up, meeting James by the front door of the pad. Kendall opened the door, letting James go out in front of him and grabbed the car keys from a nearby table. The two of them strolled to the elevator. The two of them walked down to the car together, James getting in the passenger side and Kendall sliding into the driver's seat.

At first, the ride was silent. This made James terribly uncomfortable because this left space for Kendall to begin interrogating him for being so quiet. Of course, James was being paranoid, and made the mistake he was trying to avoid. In aiming to come up with a conversation topic, James sighed and then stared out the window. Kendall glanced over at him and then took his eyes back to the road.

"Is there something bothering you?" Kendall inquired.

James turned from the window to look at Kendall. "No, why?"

"No reason. You just seem like something's bothering you. Most people don't sigh the way you just did when they're feeling peachy keen."

James shurgged. "Dunno. Just tired, I guess."

"Just tired, you guess," Kendall repeated. "You shouldn't be. You got plenty of sleep last night, didn't you? Judging by the time you woke up, I'd certainly say so."

James didn't know what to say. Anything he could have responded with would just invite more questions, and if he suggested they change the subject, Kendall would know something was up. So not knowing what to say, he kept silent.

Kendall stared at him as much as he could, but shook his head, finally returning full attention to the road in front of him. Kendall finally parked his car up the front of Roque Records, getting out quickly while James took more time to open his door and walk slowly behind him inside of the building.

The two of them went directly to Gustavo's office as Kendall knocked rapidly on the door. Kelly opened it surprised to see them standing there.

"Hey, guys. What's up?"

"Hi, Kelly. Uh, we need to talk to Gustavo. We just need his and your help."

"What's going on?"

"You know Camille? Logan's on and off girlfriend? She's hosting a Valentine's party for the kids from school and wanted us to perform, but unfortunately, she didn't have a place for the party." Kendall explained.

"Well, why can't you just have a party in Palmwoods?"

"We can't. Bitters banned to have a party two months ago, after we trashed the place."

"Okay, I'll just get him. He's in the studio making a song for you guys."

"Perfect. That's what we'll need for the party."

"Not until Griffin hears it and accept the song."

James, Kendall and Kelly went to the studio and saw Gustavo in the control room.

"Hey, Gustavo." Kendall waved.

Gustavo took of his headphones and stood up. "Dogs, just in time. I made you guys a new song to realase it in your new album, making it on the top of the pop charts, worldwide."

"Yeah, about that..." Kendall explained the Valentine's party to him about how they can't have a party in Palmwoods and the song that they're going to sing.

"Well, let's go. Let's find a place for you guys to perform your new song, only if Griffin accepts it." It was nearly twenty minutes of more uncomfortable silence until Kendall chose a place to start. James walked slowly behing him inside of the discotheque.

When the four of them came inside, they were greeted with music being played on mega amps and stereos while people danced all around. It looked no different than any other place they had played, except that the occupants were people they didn't recognize. It was almost like the other side of town was equal to the other side of the country. No one had probably even heard of them over on this side.

"There's no band; that's a good sign," Kendall commented.

"Yeah," James agreed. Kendall glanced at him, and shook his head again. It didn't necessarily bother him that James wasn't comfortable enough to tell him what was wrong, but the least he could have done was not act like he was miserable in front of him.

"Let's go find the manager," Kendall decided, pulling the other three along to the back of the club in order to find some sort of back room or office where the manager might be.

As they were walking through the crowds of people, Kendall spotted a young girl who he could have sworn he'd seen before. She caught his eye, but didn't seem to be familiar with Kendall's face. She then looked up towards James and glared, turning away. Kendall noticed the exchange between the two of them, and it was then he recalled seeing her.

"That's your girlfriend isn't it?"

"No," James replied bluntly.

Kendall frowned. "Are you sure? I tho-"

"She was," James interrupted. "We broke up yesterday."

"Oh," Kendall replied simply. He left it at that, not wanting to push the issue any further. The tone in James's voice warned Kendall that this wasn't something he wanted to talk about. However, Kendall, like Carlos and Logan, was certain that James was never hung up on a girl, and if he had been, it wouldn't be this girl. They'd only been on three dates.

"Hey, Kendall?" James said suddenly. "I think I'm gonna wait outside. I'm getting kind of claustrophobic in here."

"Ok, sure man. We'll try not to be too long," Kendall assured him, watching James walked out of the club, slowly and deliberately. He sighed, before beginning to ask around with Gustavo and Kelly in order to find the owner of this new club.

Outside, James found an old, rusty bench resting against the front wall of the building. There was a young woman seated on the edge, bending over where she appeared to be getting something out of her purse. James advanced towards her, hoping to ask if he could sit down. Though, when he got closer, he saw who the woman was and attempted to back away. It was too late. She glanced up and a look of anger appeared on her features.

"Sorry Brooke," James began. "I didn't realize it was you or else I would have-"

"Avoided me? I see, so if it wasn't me, you would have flashed your charming smile, asked casually if you could sit beside me, and then make pointless conversation in an attempt to tease me. Then, after we talked for a few moments, you would ask me for a date."

James looked sheepishly towards the ground.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Brooke continued. "I'm too smart for your subtle tricks, James. I fell for them the first time, and I'm not about to do it again. So go find some other girl's bench to sit on. I'm not interested!"

Brooke flung her purse over her shoulder and stood up, walking passed James hastily. She turned back around, remembering a final thing she had to say.

"For the record, you broke up with me. I have a right to be angry with you. Don't assume I'm unfair and impolite. You brought this all on yourself. You lost yourself a chance with a responsible and intelligent woman. Now you'll be forced to step back down to those idiotic tramps who will say yes. The only ones, James. The only one who will say yes."

"You said yes," James pointed out with little expression. Brooke pretended that she hadn't heard him and turned on her heels to go back inside the discotheque. James shrugged, sitting down on the now vacant bench.

Brooke had been wrong about her assumptions. James hadn't intended on conversing with her at all. Only to ask if he could sit down, that is. She was right about one thing, though. She had the right to be unfair and impolite towards him. Or did she? He hadn't sent her indirect hints on the night of their third date that he had no intentions of calling her or seeing her. At the end, he had said, "Take care," and that was all. No "I'll call you" or "See you sometime" or anything that implied there would surely be a_ fourth_ date.

_Was this considered breaking up with her?_ James thought. He had never actually said the words, but she had gotten angry when all he said was, "Take care." So perhaps it was _her_ who broke up with him. James chuckled lightly. Three meaningless dates and he was contemplating who broke up with whom.

But the dream...

James knew it had to be his own fault because of the dream. He sighed, blaming himself for the failure of his relationship with Brooke.

The dream never lied.


	2. Chapter 2

Kendall managed to get the guys an audition in the very club where James had bumped into his angered ex-girlfriend when Kendall announced this upon exiting the club to meet him. James was relieved at first. This meant they could go home. However, if Brooke had been there that day, who was to say she wouldn't be there in days to come?

Most girls that James had broken up with in the past, had managed to forget him over the next few days after the break up. They would have moved on to see some other guy, as was their nature. Much like James, in fact. Brooke was different, though. This time around, he had picked a girl who was used to being committed to one guy. So after three dates, she expected more. When she didn't receive it, she began to hold a grudge. It was hard for James to know if she liked him or not. The way she insulted him surely suggested she didn't, but then why couldn't she just forget about him? James concluded that Brooke was being immature and left it at that.

The audition would be the next day, so in the meantime, James focused on making it through the rest of the post dream day. When he and Kendall returned, it was late afternoon. By this time, Logan had gone off to do God knows what, and Carlos was sitting quietly on the couch, reading a comic book while eating his corn dog.

"Hey," Kendall greeted softly, tossing the car keys back on their designated table. Carlos waved clumsily, not taking his eyes away from the pages. Kendall sat down next to his Mexican friend, and smiled knowingly. Carlos nodded his head, finishing the last few words of the chapter he had been reading. He shut it loudly, grinning wildly at Kendall.

"So, how'd you make out?"

"We have an audition tomorrow downtown, I'm going to tell Camille if we can make it," Kendall replied. "I think we can get it, but it's been so long since we practiced."

"Why mess with perfection?" Carlos joked, setting his comic book aside. "Well, Logan's down by the pool."

"I'll get him." James volunteered. He had the urge to tell Logan about his encounter with Brooke since he hadn't mentioned it to Carlos. Kendall only knew of them seeing each other inside the club, so he was oblivious as well. James stepped down onto the lobby, spotting Logan in the distance. Fortunately, Logan noticed him and met him halfway.

When they were in speaking distance, Logan called out, "Have fun?"

"Not really," James replied.

Logan finally stopped in front of him, leaning to one of the tables. "You still bugged about that dumb dream?"

"It wasn't much of a dream," James paused. "I ran into my ex-girlfriend."

"Which one, the most recent one?" Logan asked. Normally, this comment would have been considered a tease in James's eyes, but at the moment, the question was taken completely serious.

"Yes, the one I broke up with last night. She was pretty angry with me." Another pause. "I don't think she has any reason to be. I mean, it was partly her fault. At least I'd think so, but my subconcious thinks otherwise."

Logan furrowed his eyebrows. "_Partly_ her fault? What exactly happened last night?"

"Well, at the end of the date, I never said I would call her, which gave her the impression that I didn't want to see her again. She got mad, and I left, " James explained shortly. Logan waited before saying anything, thinking there would be more. When there wasn't, he was confused.

"That was it? Man, when you said you broke up with her, I thought you'd actually,_ officially_ broke up with her. Not just a little argument. You didn't do anything wrong by not saying you'd call her. She's just overemotional and too attached to you."

"But I didn't intend on calling her. She was right," James agreed, once again putting the blame on himself. "It was my fault, Logan."

"You act like you want it to be your fault." Logan observed.

"Well, in part I do. If this whole break up, or argument, or whatever wasn't my fault, then I'm beyond confused and frustrated with this dream."

"I think it's time you told me about it," Logan concluded. He knew he had suggested this many times before, but perhaps James would just give in this time. He was wrong.

"We've been over this. I don't want to tell you," he answered firmly.

"Then I can't help you! I'm sorry that you feel like you can't tell me, but I know almost all the story as it is. If you don't want to tell me completely, then stop coming to me."

Logan pushed off the chair he was sitting on and walked passed James to return to the pad. James kicked the table angrily, stuffing his hands obstinately into his pockets. He hadn't come down to fight with Logan or to discuss things with him. Logan was supposed to just listen without giving true imput. Why _did_ he have to be the one to know?

James gave a cursory thought to maybe telling Kendall and Carlos, but he quickly refused it. If they knew, things could only get more complicated. For now, it must remain a secret or as secret as it could be, considering the circumstances. He sighed and reluctantly turned to go back inside. They were waiting for him.

The audition came far too quickly for James. They had practiced hours in the studio, the day before in high hopes of getting the job. They needed the money severely, but James wasn't in the spirit to play. Since his incident with Logan, neither of them had mentioned the dream at all. James hadn't needed to; the night before he slept peacefully. He only wondered if Logan would be there the next time, holding out a glass of water and offering his ear.

No one was smiling as they stepped up on the stage to begin their song. James, for obvious reasons, and Logan perhaps for obvious reasons. Kendall was oblivious and had forgotten James's troubles; he frowned because he was nervous about getting to book this club for Camille and the money. Carlos didn't smile, well... Carlos didn't smile because it was apparent to him that there was nobody to smile to. Kelly and Gustavo sat frozen beside the manager who owned the place. Gustavo gave them a fake wide smile, as if his grin would even stretch further as if it was about to rip.

'Good luck,' mouthed Kelly.

They began the song together, in perfect syncrhonization. Logan opened his mouth robotically singing the lyrics of their song. His hands were the only part of him that moved, tapping along to the beat, and even then, they were very forceful. Every now and then, he'd glance at James, who in turn didn't have much pluck to his movements. They had indeed begun the song together, but their thoughts dispersed in so many different directions, it was as if they ended in separate places.

The music ceased from the room, the only sound being James's heaving sigh of relief. The manager of the discotheque worked his way to the stage with an expression of indifference on his face. He shrugged.

"You don't seem to be like a fun bunch, but the music is good. I need a band, and you're all I've got," the man paused, staring at each of them, curious of their silence. "That'll be tonight, and you're all good."

"Thank you," Kendall replied, shaking the man's hand. "We'll be here."

The manager got off the stage and talked to Gustavo and Kelly. They were silent for a while. After the manager left, Kelly and Gustavo approached them.

"Well, guys. I have to say... you've got yourself a Valentine's Party. I already booked it for 7:30p.m." Kelly piped up.

"Dogs, I need you to be ready for tonight. So go home, get dress, and go to Roque Records to practice your new song. Be ready." Gustavo called out.

The ride home began just as silent as their reactions to the manager's criticism. Kendall rolled his eyes sighing as he drove the unfamiliar route home.

"What is wrong with you guys?" he asked suddenly. Carlos, who was seated next to Kendall, looked behind him towards the backseat. Logan and James exchanged glances at each other, but said nothing. "Not a fun bunch, why would he think that?"

"Well, don't look at me," Carlos said, sinking down in his seat. "I would have smiled some, but I didn't want to stand out among all you gloomy guses. Besides, it's Mr. Diamond with the charisma."

Kendall used the rearview mirror to glance behind him to catch a glimpse of Logan and James. The two of them were staring out the window on either side, seated as far apart as they could be from each other. He drew an educated conclusion and saved his comments for when they finally made it home.

No one had spoken since Carlos mentioned James being charismatic. The car was more silent than it had ever been. Between the four of them, no one had initiated a conversation.

Kendall pulled the key out of the ignition and motioned for the three who were reaching for the door handles to stay where they were. He turned around and leaned over his seat to look at Logan and James.

"Look, there's no hiding when you two are fighting about something. I don't know what it is, and I don't want to know, but I'm sure it's something stupid. So shake hands, make up, whatever."

"Kendall-" Logan began, but was quickly cut off.

"No, don't 'Kendall' me. You almost cost us the gig! He only hired us, because he didn't have anyone else. He doesn't even know us! Personally, I'm sick of the way both of you have been acting recently. Especially you, James."

James looked away from him, uncomfortably. They assumed he was done, but Kendall had more. "Carlos and I will be inside. When you're done, you can come in too. C'mon Carlos."

Carlos reluctantly followed Kendall inside Palmwoods. Logan and James waited briefly before beginning their 'thing'. It was Logan who went first.

"I'm not mad at you. Just want to clarify that."

"I'm not mad either," James agreed.

"Shows how much he knows," Logan observed. They had a brief chuckle over that. "I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I didn't mean it the way it sounded. It's just... I'm worried about you."

"You don't have to be," James responded. Logan was about to object, but James continued, "No, seriously. What does it hurt? It's not like I'm physically in danger here. It's just a stupid dream I have on certain occasions. Granted, it makes me a little sad for a while, but I moved on. It's no big deal."

"If it's no big deal, then why can't you tell Carlos and Kendall?" Logan asked.

"Because they won't understand that. They'll make it something big. In all honesty, if I had my choice, you wouldn't even know."

"What?"

"Well, here you are, making it something bigger than it is," James pointed out. "Do you find the need to know what Carlos and Kendall are dreaming about?"

"Well, if they were having the same nightmare over and over again, then yeah I'd like to know about it. James, you're taking this out of context. You're having a bad dream, which is nothing strange, I'll give you that. But the fact that it's the same one, and you're too stubborn or embarrased or whatever to talk about it. If it was no big deal, you wouldn't feel the need to hide it."

"Why can't I? It's my business, isn't it?"

"You're missing the point. The second you told me about it, the second it became my business too."

"Well, you're forgetting that I never told you. You found out! I couldn't help it.'

"You could have lied. You seem to be good at doing that lately." James glanced at Logan, resenting his comment. "I asked you what you were doing up. You could have said you getting a glass of water, or you were using the bathroom, but you opted for the truth. You told me you had a bad dream. Don't say I found out when there were ways of avoiding me. You obviously wanted to tell me or else you wouldn't have."

"Why wouldn't I tell you?"

"Maybe you felt lonely or maybe even scared."

"I was not scared!" James shouted. He quickly lowered his voice. "I just didn't think about it at the time. Besides, if I would have lied, you would have called on it. I never get away with it. I was saving the time it would have taken for you to drag it out of me."

"So, why not save the time it's going to take to drag out the rest from you? Just tell me."

"I don't have time for this." James decided, reaching for the handle of the door. Logan put a hand on his arm.

"Well, you're not going up there. Kendall said we had to make up. In my opinion, this isn't settled. And it's not going to be settled until you tell me."

"Oh, so you're blackmailing me now?"

"You've made me resort to it. Oh, and if you like that, you'll love this. If you still don't want to tell me, then I'll have no choice but to tell Carlos and Kendall everything. If I can't get it out of you, I know they can.'

"What?! You can't do that!" James yelled. Logan stared at him, without saying anything. James scoffed and once again, reached for the door handle. This time, he proceeded in getting out of the car, He slammed the door as Logan quickly climbed out of his side. He ran around to the other side, no longer showing scorn for James. Before he could say anything, James spoke, "No, just let me be. I need to be alone for a while."

"James-"

"Just let me go!" James interrupted. He stalked off towards the park to do as he said. He needed time to think. Once he had walked away, he didn't look back at Logan, who was now running towards inside the lobby. James didn't need to look; he knew Logan was going to tell them about his dreams. He knew they wouldn't understand and they would worry for no reason at all. James's only comfort was that he still had control over the contents of his dream.

James stopped walking and settled himself down on the park bench and began thinking back to when this had all started. He had been on a dating streak at the time; in two weeks, he had gone out with seven different girls. James knew he had the reputation of being a Casanova, but he had no idea it was to his extreme. The night he broke up with the seventh girl, he thought about it long and hard before falling asleep that night. It would be the first night of many where the nightmare had taken place. After experiencing it for a week or so, he tried to avoid going out with girls, but he just couldn't help it.

This was where his embarassment played in. If anyone knew they would only laugh at him. They might refer to him as a whiny, little baby who didn't get what he wanted. The last thing James wanted was for his reputation to come off worse than it already was. He shook his head, resting it down on his hands.

Moments later, the wind began to pick up making it chilly where James was seated. He sighed, regaining back to his feet.

He began walking towards back Palmwoods, in the lobby, and in the elevator. It was time to face the music; he knew he'd have to eventually. Slowly, he entered the hallway. He went inside the pad, surprised to see absolutely nothing out of the ordinary.

Carlos had settled on the couch, picking up the same comic book he had been reading the day before while eating his corndog. Kendall was doing the dishes, and Logan was watching TV. James returned his hands to his pockets and began walking towards his bedrrom. Logan glanced up when he heard the footsteps and met James's eyes. Logan shook his head, causing James to smile.

He hadn't told.


	3. Chapter 3

The party was full of party people, jumping up and down and dancing around to the catchy music of Big Time Rush. It was Thursday night and the Rushers had become a quick success. The young people were even more excited than at some of the other places they played. When they finally took their break, many were visibly disappointed. They stepped off the bandstand, taking a seat at their own reserved table.

"Hey, guys!" Camille called. They waved back.

"So, what do you think?" Kendall asked.

"You guys are amazing. People loved your song. One of them told me that she would bring her friend who had never heard of you guys to this club. And she loved it!"

"We should have come here years ago!" Logan exclaimed with a wide smile on his face. "Do you believe this? They must think we're The Beatles!"

"Yeah, I wonder what's up with these people,"Kendall agreed. "I think we have a long commitment here."

A waiter then approached their table, carrying a tray of four complimentary burgers and fries. The manager followed behind and spoke as their dinners were placed in front of them.

"You boys are a smash! You can't be the same four that auditioned for me."

"Thanks," Kendall replied. "That was just a bad day for us."

"Well the truth is, if you're excited, they're excited. It's been forever since I've had a live band play here and now I know what it's been missing. So eat and go back up there! Tons of people would love to see you from this other side of town!" The manager clapped his hands together and turned to go back with the throng of teenagers on the dance floor.

"This is unbelievable," Carlos commented.

"I know!" Logan squeaked. "Free dinner, and all we've gotten is a small discount!"

Kendall rolled his eyes, ready to dig into his food. He was anxious to get back up on the bandstand. As he was picking up his burger, he saw James rising from his seat out of the corner of his eye. He placed teh sandwich back on the plate.

"Where are you going?" Kendall asked.

James shrugged. "Just outside for a minute. I need some air."

"Well, then you sacrifice eating, man. We probably have under ten minutes," Kendall warned him. James shrugged again, walking around his chair to leave.

Logan glared at him. He had thought that all of this was over. James hadn't had dreams over the past few days, and he'd been in relatively good moods. He'd been having a great time throughout the evening as they played and all of a sudden, he's down again. Logan wanted to follow him and talk this out with him, but he knew Kendall and Carlos would only get suspicious. He'd save it for later.

Meanwhile, James stepped outside, breathing in the cool wind into his lungs. It had been so hot recently that even the slightest bit of wind was quite refreshing. James sighed, taking a seat on the bench that was there- the same bench as before. He leaned back, closing his eyes in agonizing pain, due to a headache. He had caught Logan glaring at him as he reached the door, and he knew exactly why.

The truth was that he had been doing better, and he had honestly been happy during the time they'd been playing. However, there were so many girls there; so many beautiful girls. He knew if he would have stayed in there, he wouldn't have eaten anyway. James would have gotten up to mingle and eventually ask a girl to go on a date with him. He was protecting himself by exiting the club.

James heard footsteps, but didn't dare look up. It was probably just Logan, checking up on him. He felt the person sat down beside him and was tempted to tell him to leave him alone, but when he opened his eyes, it wasn't Logan that he saw. In fact, this person was a complete stranger.

"I'm sorry," she said, diverting her attention to James, who was now staring curiously at her. "Were you saving this seat for someone?"

James couldn't take his eyes off of her. He felt in his blood that it was happening all over again, but he couldn't let himself be taken by this girl. He had come out here to safeguard himself. It seemed like if he didn't go to the girls, the girls came to him. He shook his head, freeing his gaze from her.

"No, have it. I was just leaving."

"What a pity. I followed you out here so I could speak with you. I guess I could have saved time and just stayed inside, but I didn't think you'd pop out and pop in, in a matter of seconds," she replied, drawing out the last few words of her statement. She raised her eyebrows at him, waiting for a response. "I'm Marsha."

"And I'm confused," James declared, chuckling a bit.

"Oh, you're cute. Now I know it was worth the walk out here. So, what's your name?"

"It's James." He sighed, giving in. "Look, I really don't have time to talk. I have to get back inside; our break is almost over."

"Break?" Seconds later, she nodded in understanding. "Right, you're in the band. The cute one up front."

"Right, I'm up front so people can see me, you know. It's got nothing to do of how cute I am." James tried to hide his reddening complexion. He could just feel his face blushing as she spoke more and more. All he wanted to do was get away from her, but he couldn't resist the young woman called Marsha.

"Well, it would be a shame if people couldn't see you, so I'm glad you're tall as you are."

Ï'll take that as a compliment. I really must go." James finally made it to the door, but he wasn't clear yet. She stopped him before he could go in. He was too polite to ignore her. Either that or he had really developed a crush on her.

"Wait." She called, standing up from the bench. "When you get done, do you think maybe we could take a drive around town? Maybe get some ice cream or something?"

"You mean, like a date?" James asked.

Marsha immediately picked up on his reluctance and shook her head. "No, it doesn't have to be. Consider it going out with a friend. Could we?"

"I don't think I can tonight. Maybe some other time," James said. He began to relax, hoping he was out of the woods. If it had been this easy to avoid a girl, he would have no problems.

"Oh, okay. Well here, I'll give you my number." Marsha began reaching into her purse to get her cellphone. James gulped. If she gave him the number, he wouldn't have the will to tear it up. He couldn't accept it, but he didn't want to offend her.

"I'll get it from you later, I promise," James said. "I really need to go in before my friends get angry."

Marsha nodded, returning the phone into her bag. James pulled a smile, finally grabbing onto the door handle to proceed inside. He looked back once to see if she was following, but she didn't appear to be. He lost sight of her when he glanced through the glass of the door; she must have gone back to the bench. James turned forward and was relieved to see Logan, Kendall and Carlos still seated at their table, eating. The last thing he needed was Kendall getting on his back about disappearing. He slid into his seat without a word. The three of them were in the middle of a conversation, so they didn't really take notice of his returning.

Moments later, they took the stage again, each one reaching out for their microphones. As the first song of their set began, James took a deep breath and moved to the beat in only a way that James could, and smiled at the audience. After his encounter with the girl outside, he felt proud of himself. As long as he avoided the girls, he would have no problems sleeping. Realizing he could do that, and proving he could with Marsha, he finally started to get the feeling of recovery. However, when his eyes swept through the crowd and landed on the face of Marsha, his smile washed away. She was waving at him, grinning from ear to ear. James met her eyes and returned the smile hesitantly. He hoped she hadn't noticed the extreme force behind it. Then again, if she had, maybe she would have leave him alone.

As the evening concluded, and the last song was played, Kendall announced over the microphone that they were done and they appreciated for being here at Camille's Valentine's party. He thanked her and the audience as Camille went up to the stage and grabbed a microphone.

"Give it up for Big Time Rush, everyone!" The crowd applauded before the speakers were turned on again and the dancing continued.

After the party, everyone talked to the Rushers about how great they were on stage. Gustavo, Kelly, and the manager told them as well.

"Well dogs, you did it again. Griffin loved the song and we are ready for the new release of your album, 'Elevate'." Gustavo announced as the Rushers smiled with excitement.

"Hey and while you're at it, can you guys perform at this club again?" The manager asked. They all glanced at each other.

"I'll make the salary to two-hundred thousand. What do you say?" he asked again. Without even thinking, Kendall shook the manager's hand.

"Deal." He smiled, accepting the offer.

"Great. That'll be Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturday nights, next week."

When they were about to leave, Camille approached her friends and hugged them.

"You guys were fantastic! Now you've got the money to cover the rent and Bitter's things."

"Yeah, I know. We get extra paid." Logan smiled. They both high-fived. James had been ready to leave the second the club was closing. He knew it would take forever to clean things up and collect money from the manager. Marsha was sure to approach him with her phone number. Every girls that he have met, would always come back at James like he was this chick magnet for girls, attracted to one another.

James turned to Carlos, who was the closest. "I think I'm gonna go wait in the car," he said.

"Why?" Carlos furrowed his eyebrows. as he ate the left over food at the table. "It'll only be a few minutes."

"Don't ask," James pleaded. "I'll be outside when you guys are ready."

James stepped off the bandstand before Carlos or anyone else could object. He glanced around for Marsha and saw her in the corner talking to some friends. He moved his gaze to the door and didn't look back. He sighed in relief as he managed to get outside and made a beeline for the car. They were parked relatively far from the entrance, so Marsha was sure not to find him and probably gave up. After thinking this through, James couldn't help but chuckle at the situation. Here he was, a grown man, trying to decide how to avoid getting a girl's phone number. First, it was so very unlike him; second, it was a ridiculous thing to have a plan for.

Trying not to be impatient since he chose this, James tapped his foot and drummed his hands on the hood of the car. He wanted to get inside to hide himself more and perhaps sit down, but Kendall had the keys. It was nearly twenty minutes later before Kendall, Logan and Carlos came out of the club.

"Where'd you disappear to?" Kendall asked, unlocking the car.

"Well, here obviously," James replied. Carlos smirked at James's joke as he opened the front passenger door and climbed in. When the last car door was shut, James let yet another sigh escape his lips. Now he was really in the clear. He had managed to make it through an entire gig in a place packed with girls, leaving with not one phone number.

As Kendall started the car, Carlos turned around in his seat, looking at James. "Oh, yeah I almost forgot. Some girl inside was looking for you. Asked me to give you her phone number."

Carlos handed him a small slip of paper. James accepted it, staring blankly at the number.

* * *

When the Rushers arrived home the night of their gig, it was almost midnight. Exhausted, the four immediately went to their bedrooms changing to go to sleep. Inside the downstairs bedroom, Carlos was climbing into his bed as James entered, shutting the door behind him. He walked over to the dresser, remembering the place where he had left Marsha's number. He stared at the black ink on the paper, the digits already burning into his mind.

"C'mon, James. Let's get some sleep," Carlos said, yawning after he finished speaking. James crumpled the paper and held it tightly in his fist as he went to his own bed, sliding under the covers. Carlos didn't notice him clenching his hand around the scrap, so he didn't have any reason to ask questions. As soon as James was in his bed, Carlos rolled over and shut the lamp off.

James laid his head back on his pillow, the paper still in his hand. He was back to square one- back to his sleepless nights. It'd been too late to call her when they got home, but he knew he woke up the next day, he wouldn't be able to resist calling her. He knew of only one thing he could do, and he would have to wait until Carlos fell asleep.

It was some time before James was positive, and he called out his name just to make sure. Carlos didn't reply except with his deep, even breaths. James nodded to himself, removing his blanket and quietly got out of the bed. He moved across the floor, confident that Carlos wouldn't be waking up. Considering he'd left their room several times in the middle of the night, he was right to be so nonchalant about it. He shut the door behind him, and began to ascend the spiral staircase.

At the top, James crept into the bedroom, heading towards Logan's bed. For the first time in weeks, James was thankful that Logan was a light sleeper.

"Logie," James whispered. He put his unclenched hand out and shook his friend's shoulder, finally gaining a response from him.

"Wha?" Logan said, confused. He opened his eyes and saw James hovering over him. He groaned. "What time is it?"

"Around two, I think," James replied. "I need your help."

Logan was about to ask for what, but Kendall stirring in the bed aside them caught both their attention. James motioned for Logan to follow him out into the hall, and he reluctantly obliged. Once they were safely out of the bedroom, they went downstairs and in the kitchen to their usual spot at the table.

"I wanted to talk to you, too, but I was going to wait until morning," Logan said, trying to give James the hint that he was polite and wouldn't disrupt James's sleep just to talk. "Don't tell me you had a dream."

"No, but I couldn't sleep until I had this settled." James brought his hand up on the table, finding it very hard to undo his fist that he'd unconciously held for so long. The paper inside fell onto the table in a crumpled ball. James drew his hand to his chest, massaging it gingerly. Logan picked up the paper in interest, looking at the numbers on it.

"It's the girl's phone number from the club," James explained. Logan nodded in uderstanding. "Tear it up and throw it away. Please."

Logan stared at James's desperate expression and then tossed the paper back on the table. "No."

"What do you mean, 'no'?"

"No, I won't tear it up. That's your business," Logan responded, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Since when? You said, and I quote, 'The second you told me, the second it become my business, too.' Are you taking that back?"

"If you really didn't want to call her, you could tear the number up yourself. I'm not doing it for you."

"But Logan, you know me! I can't just voluntarily rip up a girl's phone number. It isn't my nature. Please, just do it!" James pleaded.

"I'm doing this for your own good and-"

"If you say, 'You'll thank me later', I'm gonna shove my fist down your throat," James threatened, clenching his teeth.

Logan chuckled. "Your hand may be big, but not that big."

"Well, it shouldn't be too hard, what with your big mouth and all."

"Can we stop? As I was saying, I'm doing this for your own good," Logan began once again. James leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're not Kendall; quit acting like him. Be Logan, be my friend. All I asked you to do was rip up the number."

"I know, and I want you to do it. If this is something you really want to do, I'll sit here with you and make you do it. But in my opinion, I think you should call her and ask her out. It's the only way to see if you're really over this, which I thought you were."

"Why shouldn't I be over it? Nothing's changed."

"Maybe if you would change your attitude..."

"Please, Logan! Stop being Kendall; he's not here!"

"He will be, if you keep yelling," Logan pointed out, laughing. James glared at him. "What do you want to do? I'm tired and I want to go back to bed."

"You think I should go out with her?" James questioned reluctantly.

"Yeah, I do. James, I'm done lying to Kendall and Carlos about this. So your options are either get over it or tell them. I think going on this date will help you."

"And when I break up with her?"

Logan smiled. "Don't be so negative."

"Well, I don't plan on marrying this girl, so I'll have to break up with her eventually. So answer my question, what happens when I break up with her?" Logan shrugged. James sighed. "Okay... well, thanks. I guess that kind of helped."

"See? I was going somewhere with this." Logan and James both got up from their chairs, pushing them in quietly. "You think I should take over as Kendall Knight? I''m pretty good at this whole 'solving people's problems.' thing."

"Yeah, sure," James replied, causing Logan to smile. "When you're a psychiatrist."

Logan shoved James near the stairs, almost knocking him back into his bedroom. "Night, Logan."

"G'night, James."

They grinned at each other one last time before disappearing into their respective bedrooms.


	4. Chapter 4

The car door shut with a loud click as James stepped onto the sidewalk. It had taken some time, but he had convinced Kendall to allow him to use the car for his date with Marsha. However, with such an easy escape, he had been tempted several times to turn the car around and go back home.

James felt more nervous about going out with this girl than with any other. He assumed it was the circumstances that did this, but he almost laughed at his own expense when he rubbed his sweaty palms against the sides of his pants. When he got to the front door, he even turned back, walking to the end of the driveway.

He groaned when he remembered what Logan said to him before he left. He had told him that if he didn't go through with it, he would have no choice but to blab the secret. He even insisted he would call Marsha and ask. At first, Logan was annoying. But now James had to admit that he was flat out distressing as hell.

He finally built up the temerity to ring the doorbell. On the phone, Marsha had described the house in more detail than he needed or wanted, and had also mentioned she lived there with her four brothers. He prayed that one of them didn't answer. He lucked out when Marsha opened the door, smiling at him. She stepped out, closing the door behind him.

She acknowledged the look on his face and chuckled. "I was kidding about the four brothers. You know that, right?"

James looked at her, startled, but then began laughing nervously. "Oh, yeah of course I knew. So, who do you live in this big house with?"

"My grandma." James lead her towards the car, grasping her by the forearm. "Wow, what a nice car. I could never get a car like this."

"Yeah, isn't she a beauty? But she's nothing compared to you," James said, opening her door for her. She smiled in return, raising her eyebrows in surprise at his impeccable manners.

Once her door was shut, James sighed, walking around to the other side. He started the car, pulling out of the driveway.

"So James, I couldn't help but notice at your bumper sticker that you're a hockey player." Marsha said. James remembered Kendall putting it their, since he loved hockey more in his life.

"Wow, you're observant, aren't you?" James said, frowning when he looked over and saw the offended expression on her face. Apparently, she didn't like the joke. "Sorry. Yeah, I'm from Minnesota. Came here three years ago. So, you know what I do, tell me what you do."

"Do?"

"Yeah, you know, for a living."

"Oh ummm... I don't do anything really. You see, my grandfather was really rich and when he died, he left everything to my grandmother. They had raised me since I was six, so we're taken care of. We don't need to earn money," Marsha explained.

"Huh, well that's pretty cool; never having to work. But you know, for me anyway, I think I'd still be in a band with my friends even if we had a lot of money. It's fun to do something like that." _Even though Logan dreamt to be a doctor, Kendall being a hockey player and Carlos a superhero, and me being a model... well I don't know about that; being a super awesome model who still lived with his friends_, James thought.

"Yeah, but being in a band is more like a hobby. It's not really a job. Anyone could try and make money off of doing something they love. If all people were as lucky as you, they wouldn't complain about going to work."

James didn't respond. Apparently, conversation wasn't her strongest charactersitic. She appeared to be intimating that a singer wasn't a real job, and he really didn't want to go there. He parked the car along the sidewalk downtown. Darkness had already fallen, and the street lamps were the only light illuminating the street. James unbuckled his seatbelt and turned at Marsha's direction.

Marsha smiled in return and the next event happened as if on instinct. James put his hand on her cheek and pulled her lips to his. She moved over closer to him and wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed back. Very lilttle time had elapsed before James pulled back, smacking his lips and reaching for the door handle.

"Should we go in now?" he asked. She frowned, confused by the abruptness.

"Sure."

James grinned, checking for cars before getting out of the car and crossing to her side to open her door for her. He sighed, knowing this would be a long night.

It was only a quarter after nine o' clock when James walked in the door, placing the keys on the table by the door. After their first bad conversation, James had hoped Marsha was a good kisser. He felt shallow, but then he proved he wasn't. Their conversations continued to be dread, and James finally had enough. He said he wasn't feeling well and dropped her off.

As he took his jacket off, Carlos's voice greeted him. "Hey, James."

James turned around and nodded his hello back.

"Back so soon?" Logan asked, narrowing his eyes at James. He did a double take at his watch to verify the time. Something must have gone wrong if he had returned home this easily.

"It just didn't work out. Can't win them all."

Logan nodded, glancing towards Carlos. "Hey Carlos, I think I heard Kendall calling you."

"Really?" Carlos said. "i didn't hear anything."

"Well, I could have sworn he did. I think he's upstairs. Why don't you just go check?"

Carlos shrugged at Logan's request and headed towards the stairs to see if Kendall had really been calling him. Logan then turned his attention to James who moved away from him.

"Can I talk to you outside for a minute?" Logan asked.

James turned around with his eyebrows furrowed. "What was the point of getting Carlos out of the room if you wanted to talk outside?" he inquired.

"Well, don't you think that'd be kind of suspicious? I mean, I thought you wanted to protect your precious little secret."

"What, and pretending Kendall was yelling for Carlos when the pad was completely silent isn't it? You're really not good at this stuff, man."

"So sue me. Stop trying to change the subject. What happened? Did you even go out with the girl?"

"Course I did. I just didn't like her," James shrugged, nonchalantly. He had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"So, you ended it then. Did you tell her you'd never see her again?"

"Have you gone nuts? Why would I do that?"

"Aside from the fact that you said you don't like her?" Logan asked.

"Look, if I never officially break up with her, then I'll never have the dream, right?"

"The point of you going out with this girl was to test and see if you were over it. You were supposed to break up with her when you stopped liking her, to see if you were over all of this. And since you stopped liking her on the first date, you should end it on the first date. That way, if you broke up with her and didn't have the dream, then you'd know you're over it," Logan explained.

"Well, what's changed? I'm not gonna be over it."

"Okay, then what did you tell her?"

"I said we should do it again some time."

"So, are you going to break up with her when '_some time_' comes?" Logan demanded.

"What is all this talk with breaking up anyway? I go on one date with the girl and I'm her boyfriend? I have to break up with her?"

"Well, what do you think qualifies as long enough to call it a breakup?"

"Longer than one date." James said.

"Okay, then don't think of it as a breakup. But you've got to let her know that it's done with. You should call her tomorrow, make a date, and tell her it's over. And if you don't get a good night sleep tomorrow night... well, I'll be there. We've done this many times before. What's one more?"

"I suppose you're right," James paused. "Thanks for sticking this out with me a little longer. I got pretty scared when you kept pushing me to tell."

"Well, if this goes on much longer, then you've got to do something. Only you can decide when, but I really think you should."

"So, tomorrow I break up with her?"

"Yeah, and hopefully you'll sleep well. Besides, it isn't nice to lead her on thinking that you like her when you don't."

James shrugged. "That's true. If you don't mind, I think I'm gonna go ahead and hit the hay. i know it's early yet, but I'd like to get some sleep just in case tomorrow doesn't go over too well."

"Okay." Logan nodded in understanding. James started to walk away, but Logan called him back. "Wait a second. Can I just ask you something?"

"Sure, go ahead."

"If you do... umm... have the dream tomorrow, will you tell me?" James frowned at Logan's request, but Logan was quick to continue. "Please, man? If you don't have it, then I promise I won't ever bug you about it again. But if you do... I really want to help."

James sighed, staring at Logan's pleading face. He nodded. "Okay, I will."

Logan couldn't help it but grin. Although, he wasn't aware of what James was thinking.

James had only argued to tell; the words hadn't actually been said yet. He could still back out.

James tried not to think about where he was, but every time he opened his eyes, he realized he was still at the same club, sitting at the same table. He managed to sigh in relief when he saw that Marsha still hadn't gotten there. He always went through this before he was about to break up with a girl, but he was more hyped up than usual. In the same way he was, the night before when he had taken her out the first time. There was something about this girl that baffled him.

The moment she walked in came too soon, and James found himself with his breath caught in his throat. She smiled as she spotted him and went to sit down at the table he had picked.

"Sorry it took so long, my grandma needed help cleaning up the house. She's having friends over tonight for bingo!" Marsha laughed, placing her purse on the floor by her feet. James chuckled in reply.

"That sounds lovely. Shall I get the waitress? You must be famished, it's almost eight o' clock at night!" James exclaimed.

Marsha waved the thought off dimissively. "I'm fine. My grandma gave me some bread and water before I left."

"What is she, a prison guard?" James laughed uncomfortably at his own joke, and once again, realized she was frowning back at him. If he was lucky, maybe she'd break up with him. But if that was the way it went, Logan was sure to threaten him with... well, with something.

"I've gotta say, I was really relieved when you called me this morning. When you said we should do it again, I thought it was some cheap way of avoiding the truth. I hate it when guys lie to me." James cleared his throat as she went on. "But you're so sweet and honest. I knew I had picked a winner."

"Well, you never know with things like this. Can't really tell until the race is over, you know? But uh... why don't we go ahead and eat? I'm a bit hungry myself." James wasn't really hungry, and his stomach churned so strongly, he couldn't imagine ever eating again.

"Okay."

James couldn't have possibly eaten slower than he was. It was bad enough having to make small talk with her while they waited for their food, and he wasn't even really listening. He was thinking of what he was going to do when the time came to break up with her. Making matters worse, she kept going on and on about what a wonderful guy he was. It was too much for him to take.

"Marsha," James stopped her in the middle of one of her stories. He hadn't quite finished eating, but she'd set her plate aside ages ago. "We need to talk."

Marsha's mouth stopped moving and she froze, staring at him. She knew this wasn't a good sign. She sighed. "Okay. Good or bad?"

What was he supposed to say to that? He chose to ignore the question and proceeded on with what he had planned to say. Like a band-aid. Nice and quick.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore."

James avoided her gaze. He stared down at his plate, waiting for her to say something. He expected her to get angry and yell, just like Brooke had done when he heard her, very calmly, reply, "Oh, I see."

He reluctantly looked up, and wished he hadn't. If looks could kill...

"So, when did you plan on telling me?"

Oh Marsha, bright as ever. The question didn't make any sense; he had just told her. James was very cautious with what he said next. "Now I suppose-"

"I guess I was wrong about you. You're not honest at all." Marsha interrupted.

"I am though. I told you, didn't I? I didn't just not call you or ignore you."

"You said, you didn't think we should see each other anymore. If you were being honest, you would have said that you didn't like me and would rather be dead than go on a date with me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to drive you to insanity. I was being nice about it. You want the truth? You're rude and boring. You always talk about your grandmother who I couldn't care less about and you thought my career was a joke. On top of that, you're a pretty bad kisser.'

"Oh, I see how it is. Not only are you a jerk and a liar, you're also _extremely_ superficial. I don't know what I ever saw in you."

"Well, speaking of shallow people, at least I have a life and a personality! You, well you worry about bingo night at your grandma's house!"

"Uh huh, well at least I care about my family! Where's your family? Off in Minnesota I suppose, where you never see them. No, you live with those clowns you call friends!"

"You've never even met them! You can't judge a book by its cover."

"Well, when the book has little substance, it's very easy. I certainly judged you far too soon. I should have known; good guys are hard to come by. All guys care about is sex."

James scoffed at her assumption.

She raised her eyebrows and smirked. "And you think I'm a bad kisser? Well, why not give one more chance?"

Marsha stood up, approaching James's side of the table. He stood as well in an act of alarm, but James didn't have time to react. She squeezed the sides of his face with her hands, kissing him with more passion that she could have mustered. James was shocked, but felt himself giving into it, accepting the kiss graciously. Marsha felt herself loosening up her grip on his face, moving her hands down to James's shoulders. The kiss continued on, while onlookers stared at the inappropriateness of their public display of affection.

James was so preoccupied with the wonderful feeling of that kiss, he didn't feel her hands continue to explore his shoulders and chest and then settling around his neck. Her thumbs grasped the area around his collar, while Marsha's fingers explored the back, along his short hair line. Her grip began to tighten, and James went on thinking it was the part of the passion, until he felt himself gagging from her act. He tried to pull away, but her teeth bit down on his lip, causing him to taste blood staining his tongue.

He began to whimper, listening to her laughing deeply beneath the pressure of their lips. He could hear himself gagging and sputtering, trying to get her away. But it was as if his strength had eluded him; he was weaker than a harmless litlle girl and he couldn't understand why. He felt himself getting light headed and began to wonder if anyone was going to step in and help him. However, it now felt as if they were the only two people in the club.

Right before james felt his vision blackening, her hands let up, leaving his numb muscles behind in pain. Too weak to stand, his knees buckled, sending him to the cold floor, blood dripping down the side of his face. In the distance, he could hear a heart monitor, beeping and the faces of his three friends erupted his painful vision before they disappeared into the darkness.

James shot up in bed, an agonizing yell escaped his lips.


	5. Chapter 5

Almost instantly, James felt arms wrapping around him, soft hands stroking his back. He was convulsing with sobs, his mind filled with distress and confusion all at the same time. He grasped onto the material of the clothing, his head was leaning against and tugged at it desperately.

"Logan, make it go away! Make it stop!"

"James, calm down. It's me, Carlos. You're okay now."

James wasn't listening. He was overwhelmed with too much emotion, getting all hysterical, keeping his eyes shut in fear of what he would find when he opened them. "I'm sorry Logan, I'll tell you just make it stop!"

Carlos stared down at James in concern. He had no idea what was going on, but he obviously wanted Logan and not him. He considered the idea of going up to get him, but wasn't sure if he should leave James alone at that point. His decision was settled when both Logan and Kendall bolted through the door.

Logan stopped, exchanging glances with Kendall and Carlos. Should he explain? No, it wasn't the time. He needed to take care of James, and them being there would only make it worse.

"Guys, let me handle this," he said, taking charge of the situation. He went to James's side, putting his arm around his shoulders. Carlos backed off, releasing his gentle grip on him.

"Let you handle this?" Kendall questioned, staring incredulously at the pair. "Better start by telling us what's going on here!"

"Kendall, later, I promise. Just get out of here! I've got it under control," Logan assured him. Kendall didn't move. "Would you trust me for once? You don't always have to be the one with the answers. I know how to take care of this and you don't. Just leave and let me do it."

Reluctantly, and with a little nudge from Carlos, he and Kendall left the two of them alone in the darkness. Logan reached over and turned a lamp on, pulling back from James and attempting to calm him down.

"James, wake up. You're at your room, you're with me. You're fine." He paused, giving James's shoulder a shake. "You're not dreaming anymore, okay?"

James opened his eyes, rubbing them to clear the blurry spots in front of his vision. He stopped whimpering and began taking several deep breaths, trying to convince himself that the nightmare was over. He glanced at logan's expectant look.

"Take your time."

It was moments later before James began talking Logan the complete story behind the dream that had plagued his sleep for the past month.

"Every time I break up with a girl, they get mad. No one likes rejection no matter who it's from. And basically, in my dreams, they just get... really mad. They say things about me and threaten to kill me or worse, kill you guys, It's silly, I know. You can see now why I didn't want to tell you."

Logan shook his head. "No, I can't."

"You don't think I'm stupid? You're not gonna tease me for being a baby about it? For me getting a taste of my own medicine?"

"Of course not! Is that what you were worried about? James, it doesn't matter what you dream about. If it scares you and causes you to lose sleep and worry about it, then I care. If I had found out it was about a... I don't know, a big pink bunny chasing you because it thought you were a carrot or something... whatever. If it affects you, then it affects me." He paused before pointing to the door. "It affects them."

James shrugged, and then chuckled lightly. "Big pink bunny?"

"It was the first thing I thought of." Logan smiled at him. "I think it's over."

"Why do you say that?"

"You never wake up screaming. And this is the first time Kendall and Carlos have woken up because of it. That means that something has changed."

James groaned. He rarely recognized that Logan was right; he was too busy realizing that Kendall and Carlos knew something was up. He looked frantically to Logan.

"You told them didn't you?"

"No, don't worry about them right now. Think about it, man. You've hit a breakthrough! It's gotta be over!"

"Or it's just gotten worse."

"James, all this time when I kept insisting you might be over it, you always said that nothing's changed. If nothing's changed, there's no way you could be over it. Well, you've gotta admit. This is a change; you could be over it once and for all. You reacted differently after you had it."

"No, I didn't." James muttered.

"James, what are you talking about? Yes, you did!"

"No, I didn't. The only reason I reacted differently was because the dream was different." logan frowned in return. "Listen, I said that in my dream, girls only insulted me and threatened me. In _this _one, she killed me. I was dead. That's why I screamed!"

"Why didn't you say that before?"

"I hadn't gotten to that part yet. Besides, what's the point? You really think it's over?"

"I really do. And granted, you won't know for sure, until you break up with your next girlfriend, but I think you have the reason to relax now."

"Why though? Why did it happen this way? What was it about Marsha that made me so weird? I didn't even like her."

"Well, when you broke up with her tonight, was it different than with the other girls?"

"yeah, it was. She wasn't mad at all. She said she understood that some things don't work out and there's nothing you can do about it. But why would I dream that she killed me if she wasn't mad to begin with?"

"Because apparently, that was the dream's way of closing it out and finally letting you move on. It was the dream's way of telling you that you don't have to worry about dating anymore."

"That was really corny, Logie," James replied. Logan shrugged helplessly. "But if anything, doesn't this make me never want to date again? If I think the girl is going to kill me?"

"Maybe it's like saying, you need to pick your dates better. And not just choose some random chick you think is cute. Only go out with girls you can really see yourself being with. You know?"

"Yeah, I suppose. I guess maybe I am a bit random with the girls I date, huh?"

Logan was grinning from ear to ear. "My, my. James is growing up!" He reached over and ruffled his hair.

"Don't do that," James muttered.

"You know what you gotta do now, don't you?"

James saw where he was looking; it was at the bedroom door. He shook his head. "No, please don't make me face them! You said it yourself, it's over! I don't have to worry about it anymore. If I have to tell them what was going on, it'll get me worried again. Is that what you want?"

"You want me to tell them, right?"

"Would you?"

"Are you kidding me? No, I'm not going to tell them! They;re waiting out there for you to explain to them everything that's been happening from the past month. And you're going to do it; not me."

"Maybe we should wait until we're sure. What if it really isn't over?"

"Then you'll have all three of us there to help you. Quit delaying this. You knew it was going to happen sooner or later."

James sighed, rising from the bed. He exhaled deeply before grabbing the door knob and entering the living room of the pad.

Carlos and Kendall were sitting on the couch, talking quietly. They looked up upon James's entering and stood up. James looked back to make sure Logan was following and headed for the couch, taking the seat beside Logan's vacated spot. Kendall and Carlos sat back down, Logan joining them. It was the moment James had been dreading.

"I... I... uh..." he sputtered, glancing at Logan, who smiled reassuringly. James took another deep breath. "I've been having nightmares."

There was silence. James inwardly begged for them to say something. He didn't want to go on. Perhaps if he didn't say anything either, then they would go first, he thought. But Logan was gesturing him onward.

"It's been about a month, I guess." James chuckled nervously at the silence and attempted a joke. "Sorry I woke you?"

"Why didn't you say anything?" Carlos asked. James frowned, shrugging his shoulders.

"I didn't really think it was that of a big deal," James said.

"You didn't think it was a big deal? If that's true, then why did you feel you had to keep it from us?" Kendall inquired with more sympathy than James thought he felt.

Logan snapped his fingers, pointing at James, but speaking to Kendall. "That's what I kept saying! But he would..." Logan trailed off when he caught a glimpse of James's angry expression.

"Wait a minute, you knew about this?" Kendall then looked at Logan. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I... just... I... hey, don't look at me! He forced me to!"

"Thanks, Logan. You've been a big help." James said with sarcasm. He put his head down and ran a hand through his hair uncomfortably.

"James," Logan started, leaning forward. "I didn't mean..."

"No, it's okay," James muttered, raising his voice to speak to all three of them. "I'm sorry I lied. I thought it was just a one time thing and that it would go away, and the more it kept happening, the more I thought it would be the last time. Eventually, it became such a common thing. I didn't think much of it. I just assumed it was a part of my life now."

"But why did you tell Logan and not us?" Kendall asked.

"I didn't tell Logan! He found out," James explained. Logan was tempted to play his 'You did tell me' card again, but figured this wasn't the best time. "Besides, it was kinda nice to have someone to talk to."

Logan couldn't help but let his mouth drop at that statement.

"It was nice to have someone to talk to?" Kendall repeated. "Well, what do you think me and Carlos are here for? You didn't want to talk to us?"

"Because I knew you'd react like this! You wouldn't care about me; you'd just be offended that I kept it from you! Heaven forbid you don't know everything that's going on in our lives!"

"I care about the three of you, more than you think I do." Kendall replied.

"Really? You _care_ about me? Then why are _you_ making this harder on me than it already is? Why can't you just say it's okay and be done with it?"

"Because James, it's not okay! You need to understand that we're your friends. If something is bothering you, you shouldn't even have to think about it."

James hung his head, asking his next question in caution. "Are we done now?"

"No," Kendall responded firmly. He sighed, finally calming down. "Would it be too much to ask for you to tell us what happened in the nightmare?"

"Yes," James said under his breath. He caught Kendall's stern expression, but it didn't phase him. "I can't Kendall. Not now, anyway."

Logan looked from Kendall to James and then spoke, hoping to ease James's nerves. "Why don't we all go back to bed? The rest can wait until morning, don't you think?"

Everyone nodded, silently returning to their bedrooms. As the door shut in the downstairs room, James immediately turned to Carlos.

"I'm really sorry, Carlos. I knew that if I told you, then you'd go to Kendall. I wasn't ready for... well, what just happened. It..." Davy's voice faded off when he noticed Carlos shaking his head. He stopped in order to listen to what Carlos had to say, but he was silent.

Carlos only stepped forward, embracing James a comfortable hug. "It's forgotten," he whispered. "If you need anything, wake me." James nodded as they pull apart. Carlos looked at him square in the eye. "And I mean that."

As the lamp was turned off, James sighed closing his eyes. Maybe Logan was right; maybe there would be no more dreams. Either way, James didn't care. Sleep was most likely a lost cause that night, but for the first time in quite a long while, a truly pleasant smile passed his lips. It felt as if a wide load had been lifted off his shoulders.

**THE END**

**First off, I apologize for not updating this story - high school's getting in the way and I regretted it for not finishing it. Second, Rushers, this is not the end of the story! And PLEASE do not get mad! Wait for the sequel of "Sweet Dreams Are Made Of These". Sequel: All Over Again! I'm still working on it, so stay tuned! Have a great day/night everyone. I promise I wouldn't let you down!**

**~Hullaballoo Torkalloo**


End file.
